Understanding Growth-Oriented Feedback: Person Praise versus Process Praise

When it comes to praise and feedback, many parents fall into the same fixed – mindset traps that can ultimately hamper children’s ability to develop growth mindsets. When we say well-meaning things like, “You’re so smart!” we overlook the fact that these words associated with personal attributes may ultimately be damaging. “You’re so smart!” might feel like appropriate praise at the moment, but later, when your child meets with inevitable failure, they may fall to pieces because the words they internalized about themselves — you’re so smart — don’t seem true, after all.

The above is known as person praise. Person praise focuses solely on the personal traits and qualities of the individual.

The problem with person praise is that it sends the message that a child succeeded because of some inherent, inborn quality they possess (in this case, intelligence) rather than the effort they put into the task.

PROCESS PRAISE:

When we use the word “praise,” we are talking about a specific kind of encouragement of effort known as “process praise.” On the other hand, process praise acknowledges effort, strategies, or actions that contributed to the success of a task. It sounds more like this: “You worked really hard at that,” and sends the message that the amount of effort put into the task led to success.

So how does this look at home or school?

Person Praise: “You are so smart at math!”

Process Praise: “Your effort in studying is really evident by your latest test score.”

When you as a parent tie success or failure to effort, strategy, or action, you don’t communicate to your child your vision of them as a whole being, but just on that one thing, right here and right now. In that moment, unrelated to intrinsic qualities and personal traits, your child can better understand the connection between effort and achievement. At that moment, it has nothing to do with being smart or stupid; it has everything to do with perseverance and the process of learning.

Understanding Growth-Oriented Feedback: Vague Praise versus Specific, Process-Oriented Praise

In vague praise, the person is given no specific indication of what was done that had value or meaning to the achievement. Never use the phrase “good job” or “nice work.” On the other hand, specific praise illustrates to your child precisely what was done that resulted in achievement.

Here are some sample feedback statement openers to ensure your feedback is specific and process-oriented:

• I noticed how …
• Look at how much progress you’ve made on …
• I see a difference in this work compared to …
• I admire how hard you have worked on …
• I can see you really enjoyed learning …
• Could it make a difference if you …?
• Have you considered trying a different strategy to …?
• You’re on the right track here but could benefit from …

At One with the Water, we focus on specific, process-oriented praise to ensure our clients understand exactly what we expect and how much they can truly accomplish.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Growth Mindset: Growth Oriented Feedback Between Parent and Child appeared first on One with the Water.

How do you approach the following situations: Professional development you find difficult, boring, or unnecessary? Difficult relationships? How can self-talk assist in improving difficult relationships with others?

The way we talk to ourselves about obstacles and frame situations in our heads can make a difference in how we choose to handle those situations. Whether you tackle an obstacle with a growth mindset or avoid it or rationalize it away with a fixed mindset, has a great deal to do with how you’ve established the situation in your own head.

So, the question becomes, how can you shut down fixed-mindset self-talk and replace it with growth-mindset self-talk? Often, using your growth mindset just means changing your self-talk. Instead of writing others off, you seek to find ways to help them. Instead of giving up, you figure out another way to attack the problem. Instead of letting jealousy or feelings of inadequacy take center stage, you focus on how you can improve.

The first thing to do is to recognize your fixed mindset voice. Are you a blamer? An avoider? A rationalizer? Or all three? Once you do that, you can identify your triggers and start to deal with them, moving from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset.

The following are strategies for addressing triggers and maximizing self-talk to create positive relationships.

1. As mentioned above, know your triggers. If you identify triggers ahead of time, you can prepare ahead of time with strategies to head them off.
2. When your self-talk turns to the fixed mindset (I can’t do this!) add the word “yet” to the end of it. “I can’t do this, yet,” is a way to rephrase a fixed – mindset message into a growth – mindset message quickly and effectively, as the “yet” implies there exists a path to understanding and growth if you’re willing to put in the work.

As you approach relationships with others, engage the following self-talk strategies before interactions in order to facilitate growth.

• Intentionally Look for the Good
• Find Something You Have in Common
• Three Positives for Every Negative

Our self-talk can also be our harshest critic. Make efforts to make sure your self-talk is positive and kind. Instead of berating yourself for negative interactions with someone, speak to yourself as you would someone else who has failed in some way or made a mistake — with love and compassion.

Being critical of ourselves isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We should reflect on our interpersonal skills with a critical eye, but we should do it in a way that is helpful, not in a way that attacks our value and self-worth.

*Developed from In Other Words: Phrases for Growth Mindset: A Teacher’s Guide to Empowering Clients through Effective Praise and Feedback (Growth Mindset for Teachers) by Annie Brock, and Heather Hundley.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Growth Mindset: How to approach Self-Talk appeared first on One with the Water.