Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Growth Mindset: Building Relationships appeared first on One with the Water.

Understanding Growth-Oriented Feedback: Person Praise versus Process Praise

When it comes to praise and feedback, many parents fall into the same fixed – mindset traps that can ultimately hamper children’s ability to develop growth mindsets. When we say well-meaning things like, “You’re so smart!” we overlook the fact that these words associated with personal attributes may ultimately be damaging. “You’re so smart!” might feel like appropriate praise at the moment, but later, when your child meets with inevitable failure, they may fall to pieces because the words they internalized about themselves — you’re so smart — don’t seem true, after all.

The above is known as person praise. Person praise focuses solely on the personal traits and qualities of the individual.

The problem with person praise is that it sends the message that a child succeeded because of some inherent, inborn quality they possess (in this case, intelligence) rather than the effort they put into the task.

PROCESS PRAISE:

When we use the word “praise,” we are talking about a specific kind of encouragement of effort known as “process praise.” On the other hand, process praise acknowledges effort, strategies, or actions that contributed to the success of a task. It sounds more like this: “You worked really hard at that,” and sends the message that the amount of effort put into the task led to success.

So how does this look at home or school?

Person Praise: “You are so smart at math!”

Process Praise: “Your effort in studying is really evident by your latest test score.”

When you as a parent tie success or failure to effort, strategy, or action, you don’t communicate to your child your vision of them as a whole being, but just on that one thing, right here and right now. In that moment, unrelated to intrinsic qualities and personal traits, your child can better understand the connection between effort and achievement. At that moment, it has nothing to do with being smart or stupid; it has everything to do with perseverance and the process of learning.

Understanding Growth-Oriented Feedback: Vague Praise versus Specific, Process-Oriented Praise

In vague praise, the person is given no specific indication of what was done that had value or meaning to the achievement. Never use the phrase “good job” or “nice work.” On the other hand, specific praise illustrates to your child precisely what was done that resulted in achievement.

Here are some sample feedback statement openers to ensure your feedback is specific and process-oriented:

• I noticed how …
• Look at how much progress you’ve made on …
• I see a difference in this work compared to …
• I admire how hard you have worked on …
• I can see you really enjoyed learning …
• Could it make a difference if you …?
• Have you considered trying a different strategy to …?
• You’re on the right track here but could benefit from …

At One with the Water, we focus on specific, process-oriented praise to ensure our clients understand exactly what we expect and how much they can truly accomplish.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Growth Mindset: Growth Oriented Feedback Between Parent and Child appeared first on One with the Water.

How do you approach the following situations: Professional development you find difficult, boring, or unnecessary? Difficult relationships? How can self-talk assist in improving difficult relationships with others?

The way we talk to ourselves about obstacles and frame situations in our heads can make a difference in how we choose to handle those situations. Whether you tackle an obstacle with a growth mindset or avoid it or rationalize it away with a fixed mindset, has a great deal to do with how you’ve established the situation in your own head.

So, the question becomes, how can you shut down fixed-mindset self-talk and replace it with growth-mindset self-talk? Often, using your growth mindset just means changing your self-talk. Instead of writing others off, you seek to find ways to help them. Instead of giving up, you figure out another way to attack the problem. Instead of letting jealousy or feelings of inadequacy take center stage, you focus on how you can improve.

The first thing to do is to recognize your fixed mindset voice. Are you a blamer? An avoider? A rationalizer? Or all three? Once you do that, you can identify your triggers and start to deal with them, moving from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset.

The following are strategies for addressing triggers and maximizing self-talk to create positive relationships.

1. As mentioned above, know your triggers. If you identify triggers ahead of time, you can prepare ahead of time with strategies to head them off.
2. When your self-talk turns to the fixed mindset (I can’t do this!) add the word “yet” to the end of it. “I can’t do this, yet,” is a way to rephrase a fixed – mindset message into a growth – mindset message quickly and effectively, as the “yet” implies there exists a path to understanding and growth if you’re willing to put in the work.

As you approach relationships with others, engage the following self-talk strategies before interactions in order to facilitate growth.

• Intentionally Look for the Good
• Find Something You Have in Common
• Three Positives for Every Negative

Our self-talk can also be our harshest critic. Make efforts to make sure your self-talk is positive and kind. Instead of berating yourself for negative interactions with someone, speak to yourself as you would someone else who has failed in some way or made a mistake — with love and compassion.

Being critical of ourselves isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We should reflect on our interpersonal skills with a critical eye, but we should do it in a way that is helpful, not in a way that attacks our value and self-worth.

*Developed from In Other Words: Phrases for Growth Mindset: A Teacher’s Guide to Empowering Clients through Effective Praise and Feedback (Growth Mindset for Teachers) by Annie Brock, and Heather Hundley.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Growth Mindset: How to approach Self-Talk appeared first on One with the Water.

Definition of a Growth Mindset

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. – Carol Dweck

In any given situation, how we choose to operate, whether from the lens of the growth mindset or the fixed mindset, makes all the difference in our ability to grow and change as individuals.

Dweck identified five key situations in which a person’s mindset has a significant influence on the outcome.

1. Challenges: A difficult task one might encounter.
2. Obstacles: Something that prevents progress in pursuit of a goal or achievement.
3. Effort: The work put forth in the process of completion of a task, challenge, or goal.
4. Criticism: A critical judgment from another.
5. The success of others. Achievement or success achieved by another person; particularly coveted success.

Attributes of a Growth Mindset Oriented Person

Learning to utilize the growth mindset in these five situations will result in outcomes that focus on genuine learning and growth, regardless of the presence of obstacles or the possibility of failure. When you properly apply the growth mindset, you begin to manifest the following attributes of a growth-mindset-oriented, driven, and ultimately successful individual.

• Flexible: Understanding of others’ needs, able to adjust expectations when attending to those needs.
• High expectations: Has high expectations of everyone. Models those expectations through body language, verbal communication, positive reinforcement, and constructive feedback.
• Communicative: Offers lots of process-oriented feedback to peers and subordinates.
• Strong relationships: Demonstrates caring and concern for others.
• Process-oriented: Understands that learning is less about the outcome and more about the process. Praises and critiques the process, not the person.
• Values mistakes: Normalizes mistakes and values them as learning opportunities.
• Empathetic: Makes an effort to view challenges and struggles from others’ perspectives.

Over the coming months, we will dive deeper into this process as we learn what it truly means to be growth-oriented. Stay tuned!

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Growth Mindset: A Review appeared first on One with the Water.

I’m pivoting back here to a discussion we’ve had several times surrounding New Year’s resolutions because the same principles apply when we address how we are challenging ourselves to grow during this time of isolation.

What is a Growth Mindset?

First, in case you are new here, just a quick primer on the growth mindset. Simply put, people with a growth mindset learn to love challenges, are intrigued by mistakes, and intentionally seek out new challenges. They have learned that their circumstances matter less than who they are.

“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” – Carol Dweck.

So how does that apply here? We must start by remembering that while we have no control over the current situation with regard to Covid-19, we are in control of our actions and reaction to our environment and the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We’ve talked about ways to stay physically healthy here and here, but whatever you are attempting to navigate, the following five principles will help you do so with a positive growth mindset, which in turn contributes to an emotionally and mentally healthier you in the long term.

Five principles of maintaining a Growth Mindset in quarantine.

1. Set small goals. Choose something that can be achieved in only 30 days or less. People say that if you can do something for 30 days, it will become a habit. For the quarantine, I am working one week at a time. Setting new routines with children, accomplishing new ways of schooling and balancing work. All may need adjusting at different times, but five days at a time doesn’t feel overwhelming, especially when there is no set end date in sight.
2. Make the goals measurable and incremental. Whether you are setting a physical goal or a self-improvement goal, make sure you set markers to celebrate. A lot of people say they want to lose weight. If you want it to stay off, then set the goal at 1 pound per week. That’s the healthy way to do it.
3. On that note, Track your wins. Celebrate your success, make a note of your failure, and adjust accordingly. Applying a growth mindset works here, just like everywhere else.
4. In that vein, don’t be discouraged by failure. Individuals with a growth mindset see mistakes as temporary setbacks, something to be overcome. Reflect on what you can learn and apply that learning when attacking your goals. Quarantine is a marathon, not a sprint.
5. Surround yourself with support. This looks wildly different now, but find an accountability partner, a coach, a mentor, a friend. Sometimes a little motivation from an outside source can go a long way in helping you to achieve your goals. The internet has provided a myriad of ways to connect, from online meetings to social media groups, or even just a quick text. Connection is more important now than ever before.

One quick note to finish as you face your week with a positive mindset. First, don’t get sidetracked by others’ goals. Focus on what you can achieve, physically and mentally. If making time to shower and setting aside 20 minutes a day to walk is all you can reasonably achieve, then we are here to celebrate you. If you are a marathon runner and you’ve kept up your training, way to go! If you are learning a new instrument, we can’t wait to hear it. The only person you are competing against here is yourself.

*Note: While we are fierce advocates for swimming and exercise as having significant positive mental health benefits, neither the growth mindset or exercise alone is a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you are experiencing the signs and symptoms of depression, please reach out to a mental health professional. No one should suffer in silence.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Maintaining Growth Mindset in Quarantine appeared first on One with the Water.

I grew up the majority of my life thinking I was just stupid. I had an immense amount of trouble reading, writing, and doing math for most of my elementary school years. I would struggle in the classroom to the point where I could not keep up with the rest of the class. I remember overhearing my teachers telling my mom that I would not be able to go to college or get a respectable job in the future. I would cry silently in the back seat of the car on the way home from school due to sheer frustration and discouragement. I took labels on as objective-reality truths and struggled all through my early years of college with feelings of not being good or worthy enough.

The swimming pool was the place I would go to during this time of my life where I felt like a normal human being. In fact, not only did I feel normal, I shined and glimmered in the water. I was good at swimming, and it provided me with a deep sense of reassurance that I could make something out of my life. The moment I put on my swimsuit, cap, and googles, I was an invincible superwoman who could fly through the depths of the cold and promising trenches.

You are not a label.

Labels are what you call yourself in your head. They are tags that you attach to yourself to describe the person that you think you are. The uniqueness and complexity of the individual can get lost in the application of a label. I am not stupid; dyslexia is just something I have. I am not dyslexic; dyslexia is just something I have. I am not dyslexic; I am Danielle.

Swimming through Dyslexia.

It is now known that most children with dyslexia have a reasonable level of intelligence and can succeed in school with tutoring, extra time, or extra help. I found this out much later in my life as I graduated from both college and graduate school with the highest academic honors. While I did not discover dyslexia was something I had until my college years, I am thankful for that now because it opened me up to the endless possibilities of who I am. I am so appreciative of swimming because it provided me both space and encouragement to keep going, and it opened the doors to so much self-discovery and improved self-worth. As I continue to find myself One with the Water, I know I can overcome anything by merely opening myself up to the endless possibilities this life has to offer.

-Danielle Wahl, Marathon Swimmer.

Register for our exclusive open water swim clinic this May, taught by Danielle, and plus we’d love you to click here to support Danielle’s Manhattan Swim and donate to One With the Water. CLICK HERE>

Danielle has 18 years of competitive open water swimming experience. Danielle competed at the national level in high school swimming in races such as the FINA Open Water National Championships. She also swam in college competing at the NCAAs and was a three-time All American athlete. Danielle has successfully crossed the English Channel two times (2013, 2014). Her English Channel swim in 2013 was the fastest swim of the season with a time of 9 hours and 49 minutes. In addition, Danielle has successfully crossed Catalina Channel (2014). This coming September, Danielle plans to swim Manhattan, which will complete her “Triple Crown.” On top of her swimming experience, Danielle has her Master’s degree in Sport and Performance Psychology and is extensively trained on the mental side of sport, performance and marathon swimming.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Swimming Through Dyslexia appeared first on One with the Water.

Water is one of the essential elements for survival. Simply put, life would not exist without it. Yet, the beauty of water goes beyond the forging of a living soul. Water creates endless possibilities within life. Water carries us from shore to shore on Earth. Water purifies, cleanses, and blesses. Water allows us to feel free and alive as it swirls around inside of us in a steady movement carrying the secrets of our ambiances. As water mystically flows around, it appears as though it has no direction or course. No path until a human being jumps, dives, steps, or plunges into the depths of its greatness, and suddenly water is filled with the deepest passion and purpose.

I know this because I have personally witnessed how the humble element of water can influence one’s life. Starting from a young age, I have simply been in love with the water. I remember swimming in pools, oceans, and lakes for hours upon end. The water fostered my self-confidence and self-worth as it embraced me for who I was as a person without questioning or judging me.

My relationship with water.

Water has been a soothing constant and its prominence has had immense guidance throughout my life. When I was ten years old, I learned about Gertrude Ederle, the first woman to successfully swim across the English Channel. I remember looking at my dad and assertively telling him, “Dad, one day I will swim across the English Channel, too.” Ten years later, starting on the rocky shores of Dover, England and swimming all the way to mossy boulders on the coast of Calais, France awakened a burning light inside of me that will ignite for eternity. I found myself craving more intimate experiences with the oceans, and my appetite for marathon swimming was aroused. The following year, I swam across Catalina Channel and the English Channel for a second time raising over $20,000 for Alzheimer’s research.

My relationship with water goes beyond the sport of swimming. It runs much deeper as the water has shaped me into who I am as a person today on many levels. As I prepare for my next event, I plan to support a non-profit organization that shares my adoration for the water. This coming September, I plan to complete my “triple crown” of swimming by racing in the 20 Bridges Swim, which is a 28-mile swim around the island of Manhattan. Along with achieving a lifelong goal of mine, I want to spread my enthusiasm for swimming to others.

One with the Water

One with the Water is a non-profit that provides access to the lifesaving skill of swimming to everyone, especially children and adults with high risk, high needs, and limited resources. The organization relies on donations to provide financial assistance to families and people who need swim lessons but cannot afford it. Swimming is a lifesaving skill as drowning is the leading cause of death for children ages 1-14. With this, providing people with swim lessons goes beyond just helping them learn how to swim. It also nurtures them with confidence, esteem, worth, and discovery, which are vital components to development as a human being. Water is one of the essential elements for survival in many ways. When I swim, I feel like I am truly One with the Water. 

As I embark on my next journey in the open and free waters of New York, I aspire to allow others to also become One with the Water and dive into the vastness of endless possibilities.

-Danielle Wahl, Marathon Swimmer.

Register for our exclusive open water swim clinic this May, taught by Danielle and plus we’d love you to click here to support Danielle’s Manhattan Swim and donate to One With the Water. CLICK HERE>

Danielle has 18 years of competitive open water swimming experience. Danielle competed at the national level in high school swimming in races such as the FINA Open Water National Championships. She also swam in college competing at the NCAAs and was a three-time All American athlete. Danielle has successfully crossed the English Channel two times (2013, 2014). Her English Channel swim in 2013 was the fastest swim of the season with a time of 9 hours and 49 minutes. In addition, Danielle has successfully crossed Catalina Channel (2014). This coming September, Danielle plans to swim Manhattan, which will complete her “Triple Crown.” On top of her swimming experience, Danielle has her Master’s degree in Sport and Performance Psychology and is extensively trained on the mental side of sport, performance and marathon swimming.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Danielle Wahl is One with the Water appeared first on One with the Water.

At One with the Water, we use three overarching principles in our guided, professional swim coaching. Harmony, inclusion, and mastery. Harmony, in particular, is our gentle approach empowering all students to feel safe and comfortable in the water. Statistics show just how necessary that principle is.

According to the CDC, approximately two-thirds of American adults are afraid of deep, open bodies of water and 46% are afraid of the deep end of a pool and 37% of Americans self-report being unable to swim. In order to even begin to overcome a fear of the water, it is our job as coaches to demystify the water, both explaining and teaching the properties of buoyancy and what happens when it is properly applied.

Buoyancy is a force in physics that is driven by Archimedes’ principle – fluid exerts a buoyant force, (opposing apparent gravity) on an immersed object that is equal to the weight of the displaced fluid. It is driven by the average density of the object, so simply translated, if the density of the object is lower than the water, it floats. Additionally, buoyancy is not affected by depth, so The buoyancy of the human body is the same in deep water as it is in shallow water.

Based on the above principle, we know floating is attainable in water, but we also know due to the varied composition of individual bodies (fat versus muscle and bone) that we each have a unique density. To complicate matters, humans, as a rule, are not symmetrical objects.

So how do we maximize our buoyancy, learn to float, and take the first steps in becoming One with the Water? We do it by teaching balance.

Teaching balance.

Balance is the most important concept in swimming and the first step of our teaching progression. To build good swimmers, the first thing that you need to learn is body balance.

First, we position the whole body on the surface with your head in a neutral position and legs on the surface, not sinking behind them. (The back of the neck needs to be elongated, the face is in the water and eyes are looking down.)

Second, it’s important in learning this technique to know there are two main points on the body for swimmers

• Center of buoyancy (chest)
• Center of mass (hips)

Failure to keep the hips and head in line will result in hips and legs sinking. This, in turn, causes swimmers to bend their knees to kick, creating an undesirable vertical body line and for new swimmers, a panicking feeling as their lower body sinks.

So what should you do to keep the hips and chest on the surface?

1. Kick your legs. This will help bring hips up towards the surface and result in good hip position
2. Press your chest down. This will force the lower body, hips, and legs to move towards the surface
3. And finally, put more weight in front of your chest/body. This is achieved by keeping one or both arms in front of your body.

Register today for premium swim lessons.

Don’t let a misguided belief that you can’t float drive your fear of the water. We are trained in helping both children and adults overcome their fears to become One with the Water. Sign up for your premium lessons today.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Achieving Balance in the Water appeared first on One with the Water.

At One with the Water, our swimming lessons are taught using growth-mindset techniques. We witness transformative miracles in our students, both in and out of the water, as they shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset learn to love challenges, are intrigued by mistakes, and intentionally seek out new challenges. They have learned that their circumstances matter less than who they are. 

“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” – Carol Dweck.

Positive Feedback

A core component of parenting and coaching in a manner that fosters a growth mindset is the language we use in giving positive feedback. It requires the most intention and retraining due to our current culture of reflexive praise. As a parent myself, I still find this the most difficult to remember in the moment as I go about the daily tasks of raising tiny humans.

Our natural tendency is to respond with a phrase like, “Good job!” While well-intentioned, using this type of expression does nothing to delineate the line between talent, effort, and results. Rather than giving children feedback about how their process of work led to a specific outcome so they can continue to develop their abilities, saying “Good job” implies an end state of success.

Growth Mindset Tools

Instead of saying “good job,” consider the following statements when your child/student is successful in his or her effort. (Source: Mindset Works Growth Mindset Feedback Tool)

• I am so proud of the effort you put forth.
• I am very proud of you for not giving up and look at what you have to show for it!
• Congratulations – you really used great strategies for (fill in the blank).
• I want you to remember for a moment how challenging this was when you began. Look at how far you have come!
• All that hard work and effort paid off!
• The next time you have a challenge like this, what will you do?
• What choices did you make that you think contributed to your success?
• It’s exciting to see the difference in your work now when we compare it to your earlier work.
• Doesn’t it feel good to master this? How does it feel to master this?
• Are you proud of yourself? Tell me what makes you most proud.

Remember that all our responses, growth or otherwise, will have a natural effect on the children we are raising and coaching. We must be using the correct ones.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post What to say instead of “Good Job”: Growth Mindset Tools appeared first on One with the Water.

It just matters that you do start.

Insert motivational quote here. Seriously, a thousand memes are floating around about missing shots and starting journeys and making the first step. They are all pretty cheesy, and all one hundred percent true. At the beginning of last year, my (Molly) body felt terrible. For a multitude of reasons not crucial to this story, but it took me until May to start kicking some bad habits. Nothing was going to change until I did, and it didn’t matter if it was May or January.

Five simple ways to start.

If you are ready to make a change, here are five simple ways to start.

1. Make small resolutions. Choose something that can be achieved in only 30 days or less. People say that if you can do something for 30 days, it will become a habit. I picked two things to start, related to my diet. Accomplishing those first two goals has given me so much energy and motivation to keep going, and kick more bad habits.
2. Make the goals measurable and incremental. A lot of people say they want to lose weight. If you want it to stay off, then set the goal at 1 pound per week. That’s the healthy way to do it.
3. Track your wins. Celebrate your success, make a note of your failure, and adjust accordingly. Applying a growth mindset works here, just like everywhere else.
4. In that vein, don’t be discouraged by failure. Individuals with a growth mindset see mistakes as temporary setbacks, something to be overcome. Reflect on what you can learn and apply that learning when attacking your goals.
5. Surround yourself with support. Find an accountability partner, a coach, a mentor, a friend. Sometimes a little motivation from an outside source can go a long way in helping you to achieve your goals.

Remember, you are in control of you. No one else could have given me the desire or persistence to succeed in my health goals. I wanted it the most. No one else can do the work for you. (And for the record, I’m down 20 pounds with ten to go. Now YOU can keep me accountable too.)

The good news? I promise you; the work can be done. And you can do it.

Happy New Year. Now let’s get started.

Molly Huggins

Molly is a member of our creative team, mom of four water-loving babies, and a fierce advocate for CPR training and really early swim instruction.

The post Start Now This New Year appeared first on One with the Water.